Maybe the quote "God is love" is the best explanation.
For some reason I'm having more spiritual thoughts than usual. Maybe because it's my birthday this week. I don't know. I was brought up as a Catholic but organized religions seem to cause more problems than they solve.
Some religions are more violent than others.
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"In my Father’s house are many mansions."
Is God too big to fit into any one religion?
It would be a great comfort if I could find one that "fits" me.
Does each person, being unique, have her own path
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I do believe in God. But I’m not sure of God’s identity or how to react. I am aware of a longing (my yearning) for something more than just this life followed by nothing.
It is not just an instinct to survive because many people commit suicide to stop the pain they feel in living.
It is not the fear of experiencing nothingness because if I cease to exist after death I won’t be aware of the nothingness and so I won’t suffer.
I've read somewhere that if there is a longing, a desire; there must be an object that is longed for. For hunger and thirst nourishment exists as food and drink. For sexual longing satisfaction exists. For curiosity learning exists.
I want to avoid trying to understand God. It’s a mistake to think I can understand the creator of existence when I can’t even understand myself or much of science, mathematics, etc. This makes a lot of my philosophical notes attempting to understand God not needed or useful and maybe even an obstacle to spirituality.
After all the logic I still can’t tell. Therefore I must make an emotional leap of faith. Maybe God wants this emotional leap not just a cold proof.
I wish I had more faith.
I wish I had some clarity.
I wish I knew what I was supposed to do.