Coming to the End ?

After a series of health problems starting with back surgery in September 2014, involving additional surgery to correct that surgery in February 2015; I developed a series of seizures after a meningitis/pneumonia infection.  I had a blood transfusion at the time to correct my anemia.  Maybe that was the origin of the infection.

Now I'll need a fairly long rehabilitation to get back to a healthier state.

The strangest thing I find about all this is that I was so anxious and in pain that I wanted to die.  It just felt like the right time.

I don't remember most of my delusions and hallucinations.  I don't remember biting one of the nurses or believing setting EEG wires into my scalp as a hair style.

The delusion of flying through a long thin tube, passing through the history of my life until I was suddenly cut short was the scariest roller coaster I've ever taken.

The next almost as bad delusion was flying through an infinitely long numerical tube, waiting for God to put an end to my life.  I was scared but it was up to God.


  1. Sounds like you've been through a very rough time, John. Hope healthier days are right around the corner ...

  2. Jeez, buddy, I hope the worst is behind you now. Feel better soon!

  3. have been through hell...there is no gentle way to say it. My thoughts and prayers are with you and a wish for good health to return and let being alive a joyful experience once again~

  4. Wow! John, I had no idea you were going through all this. Will keep you in my prayers and hopefully, you are now on the mend.

  5. Hopefully this is the end of the surgeries. Take the time and patience to mend completely. Maybe you can find a way to take yourself outside yourself. A hobby or a few good books to totally immerse yourself might help. Best wishes to you.

  6. John, I am so sorry that you are going through this. I will be praying for you, and I hope that your health improves quickly and, if possible, dramatically.

  7. John, my prayers are with you at this time. I hope you make a full and quick recovery so that you can continue to live a happier life. Gods not ready for you just yet, so hang in there mate.

  8. Oh John, you have been through a great deal. Be good to yourself and feel yourself healing. Saying prayers for you.
    HANG IN THERE< that's an order!! Sorry, my bossy side came out.

  9. John, espero que te recuperes pronto.
    Mis buenos deseos para tu recuperación.
    Miles de abrazos.

  10. John, I just wanted you to know that my thoughts often wonder about you and how you are feeling. I hope that you are recovering and getting much better. My hubby and I both send warm and healing thoughts to you, your wife and family~



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