Some Spiritual Thoughts

Maybe the quote "God is love" is the best explanation.

For some reason I'm having more spiritual thoughts than usual. Maybe because it's my birthday this week. I don't know.  I was brought up as a Catholic but organized religions seem to cause more problems than they solve.
Some religions are more violent than others.

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"In my Father’s house are many mansions."
Is God too big to fit into any one religion?
It would be a great comfort if I could  find one that "fits" me.
Does each person, being unique, have her own path
to God?

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I do believe in God. But I’m not sure of God’s identity or how to react. I am aware of a longing (my yearning) for something more than just this life followed by nothing.

It is not just an instinct to survive because many people commit suicide to stop the pain they feel in living.

It is not the fear of experiencing nothingness because if I cease to exist after death I won’t be aware of the nothingness and so I won’t suffer.

I've read somewhere that if there is a longing, a desire; there must be an object that is longed for. For hunger and thirst nourishment exists as food and drink. For sexual longing satisfaction exists. For curiosity learning exists.

I want to avoid trying to understand God. It’s a mistake to think I can understand the creator of existence when I can’t even understand myself or much of science, mathematics, etc. This makes a lot of my philosophical notes attempting to understand God not needed or useful and maybe even an obstacle to spirituality.

After all the logic I still can’t tell. Therefore I must make an emotional leap of faith. Maybe God wants this emotional leap not just a cold proof.

But still:
I wish I had more faith.
I wish I had some clarity.
I wish I knew what I was supposed to do.


  1. thanks for your visit, very appreciated..
    I like your blog, and I like your thoughts... often I have the same thoughts...happy birthday then when it will be the time ! ciao

  2. Maybe what God wishes you to do is to just be.

    1. Maybe so.
      Sissy, I wish you a great new year.

  3. Nice bit of C.S. Lewis thrown in there. I think our hunger for God is a strong indicator that God may exist, but I too long for proof. I would like to be judged by whether I strove to love Him, not by my inability to believe in 2000 year old writings filled with things people tell me are impossible.

    1. I stopped going to mass on Sundays because it became a meaningless routine. At the end of services the parishioners would run to their cars and cut each other off on their way to escape.
      Maybe I can find an "Eastern" meditation or wordless prayer that I can be comfortable with. I don't know.
      Thanks for your comment.


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