CHAPTER ELEVEN

 

CHAPTER ELEVEN

The next day it was almost ten before Tom finally woke from another night of fitful sleep interrupted by vague nightmares.  He put on a pot of coffee and poured himself a bowl of cereal.  He was not sure if it was corn, wheat, or whatever kind of flakes or squares.  It really did not matter to him.  They all tasted like pieces of cardboard and Styrofoam coated with sugar.

Clumps of foul-smelling semi solids came from the container of milk.  Tom decided it was best to skip making breakfast.  There were several fast-food restaurants on the way to the church.  He was sure Angela would not mind stopping for breakfast.

After a quick shower, he went outside to wait for her, this time making sure the book was in his shoulder bag.

“We’re early,” Angela said as she drove up to the curb.

“Good, we can stop to get something to eat.”

Tom checked his shoulder bag again to make sure the book was there.  He knew it was there, but he had a strange feeling that it was somehow trying to escape.

“What’s wrong Tom?”

“I’m a little nervous.  That’s all.”

“You met Father Alphonsus yesterday.  Didn’t you like him?"

“He’s okay, I guess.  It’s only that I’m not that religious.  I’m only playing along, humoring him.  I seriously doubt he can do anything to help me.”

Five minutes later they were at the Train Stop Café.  From the outside it was a typical 1950’s style diner but with the appearance of a railroad dining car.  Inside the original diner was remodeled into a miniature restaurant.  A few tables set close to each other replaced the old booths and barstools.

Angela parked in one of the only three spaces left.  A short walk across the graveled lot, up the steps, then Tom held the door for her.

“I have a seat in the back by the window.  Is that alright?” The waitress asked.

While they looked at the menu, Tom noticed a woman sitting at the table across from theirs.  Her sparkling blue-green eyes and straw-colored blond hair that almost hung down to her shoulders fascinated him.  She stared at Tom while smiling playfully, obviously flirting with him.

Angela turned to see what he was staring at before giving him a questioning look.

“I can’t help it.  It’s only a physical response, like a reflex,” he whispered hoping the other woman could not hear.

“Yeah, right; some reflex,” Angela whispered back.

“But it doesn’t mean…”

“I know.  I’m only giving you a hard time.”

"I recognize her.  I saw her at the bookstore where I found the book.  She was the one who put it back on the shelf."

The blond smiled at him again and then crossed her legs, her short skirt riding up high on her thighs.  The edge of her blue panties was just visible.

"Why are you staring at her again?  If you’re so attracted to her, why don't you go sit with her instead of with me?"

"It's just that I recognize her from the bookstore, and she had the book before I did.  That's why I'm looking," Tom lied.  He felt a strong attraction to the woman, but it was not just a physical attraction.  There was a mysterious almost spiritual fascination.

“Are you two talking about me?” The blond asked, giving Tom an alluring wink and a smile.

Tom found it funny.  She was being too obvious and silly.  He shook his head in disbelief.

“Ah, no; not at all,” Tom said.

“Are you two lovers or only friends?  Because if you’re free I’d like to meet with you sometime.  My name is Lilith.”

“We’re in a relationship,” Angela said in an angry tone of voice.

“I wasn’t talking to you sweetie.  Let the man speak for himself.”

“I’m flattered but she’s right.  We’re going out.”

“We’ll see how long that lasts.  She's delusional if she thinks you won't drop her to be with me," Lilith said.

"You're the one who's delusional.  We have something special that no one can ever stop," Angela yelled back.

Tom spent the rest of the meal trying not to look at Lilith.  He could tell from the corner of his eye that she was still staring at him.  When he took a chance on a brief look Lilith fondled her breasts over her blouse slowly moving her hands up to her bra straps pretending to adjust them.

“Come on Tom let’s get out of here.  We have an appointment to keep.”

Angela took his hand and led the way.  As they stood up Lilith jumped to her feet and bumped into Tom causing him to drop his shoulder bag. The book was now on the floor.

"Here's your book," Lilith said.

"Thanks."

"My pleasure," Lilith said as she surreptitiously kissed a note and slipped the lipstick covered scrap of paper into his pocket.  Following Angela to her car Tom glanced at the note.

“Lilith Veil.  I know about the book.  Call me.”

On the other side of the scrap of paper was her phone number.

 

Angela was quiet during the short ride to the church.  Tom also remained quiet.  His thoughts alternated between wondering what Lilith had to do with the book and his appointment with Father Alphonsus.

Angela parked at the curb.

“Tom that woman at the diner is up to no good.  I have a strong feeling about this and I’m usually right.”

“You have nothing to worry about.  I’m with you.”

“Don’t forget the book,” she said, handing him his shoulder bag.

Tom walked up to the rectory.  Before going in he hesitated for a moment to look back at the car.  Angela nodded encouragement, motioning with her hands to go inside.  He took a deep breath, pulled the door open then went inside.

“It’s nice to see you again,” said the same receptionist he rushed past on his last visit.

“I’m sorry if I was a little rude last time,” said Tom.

“Don’t worry about it.  I understand how difficult life can become.  Father Alphonsus took me under his wing.  He made a real difference in my life.”

Tom put on a polite smile.  He wondered if she was being paid to drum up business for the priest.

“How much will it cost to see Father Alphonsus?”

“He doesn’t accept money.”

“Really?  I thought he was once a psychiatrist.  He must charge something or require a contribution to the church.”

“He insists on no discussion of money at any time.  He only wants to do God’s work.”

Tom decided to stop the conversation before she tried to recruit him into the faith, “The Armed Forces of the Church”.

Her enthusiasm stopped when she saw the expression on his face.

“I’ll tell him you’re here.”

A moment later Father Alphonsus appeared.

“Good to see you again Tom,” he said giving him a firm warm handshake.

“Let’s go into my office where we can talk in private.”

Father Alphonsus pulled the chair out from behind his desk so they could be face to face without the barrier of the desk between them.  Their knees almost touched.

“How about a short prayer before we begin?”

“If it’s alright with you, I’d rather not."

The priest looked a bit disappointed.

“That’s fine.  Now have you brought the book that’s been giving you so much trouble?”

First Tom explained the details of the ceremony he performed.  Then he took the book out of his shoulder bag and handed it to him.

“Fine leather, gold leaf page edges, the ouroboros etching on the cover.  This is a beautiful book.  The ouroboros is a bit odd because it’s shooting fire towards its tail instead of eating it.  It must mean destruction instead of renewal.

On the back cover of the book, I see a letter ‘Y’ that’s been altered.  The side pointing to the left ends in an arrow while the side pointing to the right ends in a short horizontal line.  I’m not sure what this letter ‘Y’ symbolizes.  I’ll have to look it up but for now let’s concentrate on the book itself.”

Father Alphonsus gently ran his fingers across the gold edges of the book.  The back of the book gradually opened allowing the empty vial, candleholders and serpent illustrated cloth to fall to the floor.

“A hidden compartment!  I see what you mean,” he said with the innocent excitement of a child finding a new toy.  He put everything back into the compartment.

Tom took the book from him and opened it up to the missing pages.

“See here is where the chapter on reversing the ceremony is supposed to be.”

"Yes, I see it's blank."

Father Alphonsus sat back in his chair and slowly turned the pages.  Tom watched the priest’s face as he slowly studied each page one after the other.  The expression on his face changed from curiosity to an extremely troubled look.

"This is the book that is giving you so much heartache?"

“Skim through some of the pages to get a general idea.  The illustrations are good.  The instructions tempt your curiosity urging you to read more.  It seems like play acting; only a game but after leading you into the ceremony there’s no way back out.”

“Why did you drink the liquid in the vial? It may have been a hallucinogen.”

“Look at the directions in chapter three the Initiation Ceremony,” Tom said.

Father Alphonsus adjusted his glasses before looking closely into the book.

“Reconciliation was supposed to be the next chapter.  As you can see it’s missing.”

Father Alphonsus brought the book closer to the desk lamp, his face closer to the book and began thumbing through the pages.  Tom remained silent for a while to let the priest concentrate on the text.  It was taking longer than expected.  Tom could not wait.

“Well?  What do you think I should do?  I mean do you think you can help me?”

Father Alphonsus’ face now took on a sad look of sympathy.  He looked at the book then he looked at Tom.  Then he took a deep breath and let out a long-troubled sigh.

"See I told you it was bad.”

The old priest remained silent.

“I know it’s not some magic spell,” Tom said.

Father Alphonsus was about to speak.  He stopped when Tom continued.

“I want you to help me get passed the guilt.  I think the guilt is making me lose touch with reality, making me believe that what I read in the book is true.  You even said to yourself that someone can stop believing with their mind but still believe deep inside.  I need someone to help me sort this out, to help bring me back to my normal self again.  You were once a psychiatrist.  You must know a way to help me."

The priest paused for a moment before speaking.

"My son, this is nothing but a blank book.  There is nothing printed on these pages.  It must be some sort of diary.”

Tom took the book from him and looked at the pages.  He was right.  They were all blank.

“Listen, don’t panic.  I don’t practice psychiatry any longer, but I can help you find someone to evaluate what’s happening to you.”

“Father Alphonsus there could be another explanation.  I don’t believe in the supernatural powers of the book, and I don’t believe I’m insane.”

“Don’t misunderstand me.  I never intended to imply that you’re insane.  There are many possible explanations.  A psychiatrist can help explain a delusion caused by too much stress, a fever, lack of sleep or depression and anxiety.  During the ceremony, you drank the blue liquid that was in the vial.  It may have contained a hallucinogen.”

“Someone could have gone into my apartment and switched books on me.  He could have taken the original book and replaced it with a book containing only blank pages,” Tom said.

“Isn’t that explanation a bit far-fetched?”

“There was a cabdriver who seemed to know something about me.  He didn’t even wait for me to pay him, saying I owed much more than I could pay for with money.”

“But that doesn’t mean…”

Tom interrupted the priest before he could finish.

“Then there’s the woman at the diner who gave me this note.”

Tom checked the note to make sure her writing was still there.  He did not want a repetition of disappearing text.

“It says her name and that she knows about the book,” Tom said as he handed the note to priest.

“I see it does, but it can also have many other meanings.  Perhaps she learned about your shoplifting the book.”

“I don’t know.  I’m so confused.”

The old priest took Tom’s hands in his.

“It won’t hurt to see a psychiatrist.  At the very least, he can give you something to ease your anxiety until everything is straightened out.  I have the names of a few doctors who practice nearby.  One of them can help you.”

“I guess I can try.”

Father Alphonsus wrote the names of the psychiatrists then handed the note to Tom.

“I’ll check up on you in a day or so to see how you’re doing.”

Tom thanked him, took the book, and went back to Angela waiting in the car.  He entered the car without saying a word.

“What’s wrong?  I can tell it didn’t go so well,” Angela said.

Tom shrugged his shoulders as he looked down at the book on his lap.

“Can I see the book now?”

“There’s nothing to see,” he said, handing her the book.

Angela thumbed through the pages of the book.  When she saw nothing, she rolled down the car window and held it in the sunlight.

“Tom there’s nothing in this book, only blank pages.”

Angela stared at the open book on her lap.

“Angela, what are you thinking?  Do you think I’ve lost my mind?  Someone could have switched my book with a blank book.”

“I’m confused.  The book is blank, but you truly believe there was something in it.  But then again you seem to doubt this is the same book.  I don’t understand.”

“Well, you’ve perfectly described my present predicament.”

“What do you mean?”

“Someone switched my book with a blank one.  Either that or I’m losing my mind.”

“But who would do such a thing and why?  Who would even know you had the book or even care?” Angela asked.

“The cabdriver seemed to be angry with me.  He must know something about it.  Then there’s Lilith, the woman at the diner.”

“What can she possibly have to do with all of this?” Angela was still upset about how Lilith flirted with Tom.

Tom showed Angela the note with Lilith’s name and phone number.

"That bitch!  She's trying to steal you away from me.  You are with me, right?"

"Sure I am.  But maybe it’s all part of an initiation.  They’re following me to make sure I’m worthy enough to join them.  They keep switching books on me.  First, they switched it with a book missing the chapter on reconciliation.  Then when they saw, I was going to the priest for help they switched it again but this time with a completely blank book.  That way I couldn’t give away their secret society.”

“Tom, what did Father Alphonsus say about it?”

“He gave me the name of a few psychiatrists.”

They both burst out laughing.

“Tom this sounds very strange.  The vial of blue liquid could have brought on this completely delusional experience.  Tell the psychiatrist.”

“Yeah.  Why not?  What else can I do?”

“I’ll be here to help you.”

Tom leaned over trying to give her a warm kiss.  Angela hesitantly puckered her lips keeping her mouth closed.  His lips encircled her lips, his tongue coming to a stop.   

Angela started the car and drove off without saying anything.  She was worried about Tom, but she was also worried about herself.  She was not sure why she wanted to stay with him, why she let herself get involved with such a man.