CHAPTER TWELVE

 

CHAPTER TWELVE

 Back in his apartment, Tom took the book into the bedroom and sat in front of his computer on the small desk next to his bed.  He looked out the window for a moment lost in thought.

Before giving in to a compulsion to open the book he looked at the note Father Alphonsus wrote for him.  It listed the names and numbers of the psychiatrists he recommended.  Which one of these doctors would help him the most?  His future relied on a random selection.

When he opened the book, he saw a gray haze come over the pages.  He blew the vapors away then gasped in astonishment as he saw that the text was back on the pages.  The chapters were the same as before.  But the chapter on reconciliation was still missing.

Thoughts raced through his mind too fast and chaotic to comprehend.  He closed his eyes for a moment then looked out the window to calm himself.  It worked for a while.  The cars going down the road distracted him, slowing his agitation until a cab pulled into a parking space by the curb in front of his building.

Tom could make out the silhouette of Levi.  He was sure the cab driver was following him.  He ran to the door and locked it.  Looking out the window, he saw the cab was still there, but Levi was not.  With the door locked, Tom felt safe.  He put his cell phone on the desk just in case Levi broke in.

After a moment, he turned his attention to the computer and began searching the web for the names of psychiatrists.  He wanted to find one on his own; someone who could give him an impartial opinion and not someone who might be influenced by Father Alphonsus’ religious beliefs.

All at once the web page of a psychiatrist who treated problems like his popped up on the screen.  The website had a black background with gold lettering except for a rectangular area in the upper right side of the screen.  In this rectangular area was the image of an open book.  On the page to the left was a drawing too small and hazy to make out.  On the page to the right, the word “Reconciliation” was set diagonally.  He read the text.

 

“Do you find yourself in a bind where you ask yourself if your problems are only in your mind or if there is something actually wrong?  Is your distress due to a bad mental state or to a real misfortune?  I specialize in such cases and am always available to help you.  The first session is free.  Call me or send an e-mail.  Please fill out the form.

Doctor Carlton.”

 

The site provided the usual form asking for name, address and so on.  In a section describing his present predicament, Tom explained as best as he could.

 

"I'm not sure of what is really going on in my life.  Is it all in my mind or is it real?  It started with a strange book I found.  There was a vial of blue liquid in a hidden compartment at the end of the book, which I drank.  Maybe that is what is causing all my problems.  The effects should have worn off by now, but I feel worse than I've ever felt in my entire life.  In a ceremony described in this book, I made a commitment to change my life and follow the suggestions that would come to me.  Now I see strange shadows and have horrible evil thoughts."

 

The final section of the form requested a choice of several personality traits that best fit him and how he learned about it.  Tom checked off the section about being an introvert.

 

"The introverted person can be outgoing in some situations but usually stays to himself.  Extroverts are usually more outgoing.  Both the introvert and the extrovert depend on the circumstances to determine which will do better.

Introversion is marked by several different sub-traits:

Very self-aware

Thoughtful

Enjoys understanding details.

Interested in self-knowledge and self-understanding.

Tends to keep emotions private.

Quiet and reserved in large groups or around unfamiliar people.

More sociable and gregarious around people they know well.

Learns well through observation."

 

It was a familiar description.  Almost the exact same way that his high school counselor described him.

Five minutes after he sent the email Tom received a phone call.

"Hello, my name is Doctor Carlton.  Is this Tom Bianco?"

“Yes, it is.  That was fast. Were you waiting online for someone to email you?

“Not at all, I had a feeling someone was trying to reach me."

"You had a feeling?"

"Why yes, intuition can be a powerful tool."

Tom thought the doctor's belief in intuition was strange, but he still set up the appointment for the next morning at eleven.

A quick look out the window gave him some relief.  The cab was gone.