How do you kill an elephant? Shoot it with an elephant gun. How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? You hold it's trunk until it turns blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun.
Thank you, Emma! I love elephant jokes. Here are three more: How do you know there's an elephant under your bed? Your nose is hitting the ceiling. How does an elephant hide in a cherry tree? He paints his toenails red. How do you know an elephant's been in your refrigerator? You can see his footprints in the butter.
And then there are the plainly ridiculous like these: What is red and goes "putt putt putt"? An outboard apple. What is orange and goes "scritch scritch"? A ballpoint carrot.
And so on :)
Thanks for a wonderful post topic, John! I hope you get lots of old jokes here today!
Well, to keep up the elephant theme, here's an oldie but a goodie by Groucho Marx portraying a big game hunter -- "Today I shot an elephant in my pyjamas. How he got in my pyjamas, I'll never know."
Another elephant one. Why did the elephant paint his toe nails different colors? So he could hide in a M&M's bag. Have you ever seen an elephant in a M&M's bag? See how good they hide!
I'll stick with the elephant theme, so here's a silly one: Q: How do you know when an elephant has been in the baby carriage? A: By the footprints on the baby's forehead!
My seven year old great-grandson told me this joke... Q: How do chickens get to the other side of the road? A: They "fry"! A modern take on an old joke??? I did laugh :)
Here is ajoke from England for you... (You have to say it with English accent.) How many ears did Captain Kirk have? He had THREE.. The left ear, the right ear and the final FRONTIER. (Front ear.)
Oh! Also, I had this on my blog recently but you might have missed it. Why didn't Mozart keep any chickens? Because they kept saying "BACH, BACH, BACH"!
I stole this one from the HIghlights magazine for children! I did! LOL!
a non clever man like me was bleeding on his forehead
His wife asked why are you bleeding what happened to you?
a non clever man replied I was in van and there was a nail hanging at the side and was hitting on my head constantly! Wife why did not you exchange your seat with someone else ? Non clever man replied " How could i exchange my seat with anyone else stupid there was no other man in the van."
How do you kill an elephant? Shoot it with an elephant gun.
ReplyDeleteHow do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue elephant gun.
How do you kill a pink elephant? You hold it's trunk until it turns blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun.
Thank you, Emma! I love elephant jokes. Here are three more:
ReplyDeleteHow do you know there's an elephant under your bed? Your nose is hitting the ceiling.
How does an elephant hide in a cherry tree? He paints his toenails red.
How do you know an elephant's been in your refrigerator? You can see his footprints in the butter.
And then there are the plainly ridiculous like these:
What is red and goes "putt putt putt"? An outboard apple.
What is orange and goes "scritch scritch"? A ballpoint carrot.
And so on :)
Thanks for a wonderful post topic, John! I hope you get lots of old jokes here today!
I believe laughter is one of the best medicines there is!
ReplyDeleteWell, to keep up the elephant theme, here's an oldie but a goodie by Groucho Marx portraying a big game hunter -- "Today I shot an elephant in my pyjamas. How he got in my pyjamas, I'll never know."
ReplyDeleteAnother elephant one.
ReplyDeleteWhy did the elephant paint his toe nails different colors?
So he could hide in a M&M's bag.
Have you ever seen an elephant in a M&M's bag?
See how good they hide!
I'll stick with the elephant theme, so here's a silly one:
ReplyDeleteQ: How do you know when an elephant has been in the baby carriage?
A: By the footprints on the baby's forehead!
My seven year old great-grandson told me this joke...
ReplyDeleteQ: How do chickens get to the other side of the road?
A: They "fry"!
A modern take on an old joke??? I did laugh :)
Here is ajoke from England for you... (You have to say it with English accent.)
ReplyDeleteHow many ears did Captain Kirk have?
He had THREE.. The left ear, the right ear and the final FRONTIER. (Front ear.)
Oh! Also, I had this on my blog recently but you might have missed it.
ReplyDeleteWhy didn't Mozart keep any chickens?
Because they kept saying "BACH, BACH, BACH"!
I stole this one from the HIghlights magazine for children! I did! LOL!
a non clever man like me was bleeding on his forehead
ReplyDeleteHis wife asked why are you bleeding what happened to you?
a non clever man replied I was in van and there was a nail hanging at the side and was hitting on my head constantly!
Wife why did not you exchange your seat with someone else ?
Non clever man replied " How could i exchange my seat with anyone else stupid there was no other man in the van."
LOL...Debra stole mine before I got here ha ha...big Marx Brothers fan...
ReplyDelete